Well it would seem that my old friend and nemesis “change” has been very active again of late. The combination of a recent curtailing of online social activity and a holiday abroad has given me a chance to reflect on a few things and in particular the way in which my personal landscape has changed in the last few months.
I have found it necessary to re-evaluate my relationships with those who I have drifted apart from and those who continue to be a part of my life and with whom my trust lays. I have had to question myself on which people are friends and which are not (or perhaps ever were). I have also questioned and examined myself and my thoughts and actions. It has been a fairly unpleasant and occasionally paranoid process to be honest and has been going on for a while.
I always find it difficult to move on or write people off when the sands shift and I have tried to see the best in and remain friends with everyone in my life. I have learned that this approach continues to leave me wide open to disappointment and upset. This seems to have been more prominent in recent times. Not everyone wants to reciprocate and sometimes there really is no reason or explanation.
It’s futile to continue to expend energy on or afford time to people who want to cultivate ill feeling, be it towards myself or others.
So, whilst this sounds very negative and I have felt rather lost a lot recently, it has been a humbling and I believe an ultimately positive process.