Symptom X

(i) Missing Peace
I remember fresh horizons,
I remember brand new starts,
I remember empty promises delivered to my heart,
And vague remnants of something I used to know inside,
Finding I have nothing sacred left to quantify.

Once a piece of something special,
Once a man with destiny,
As I raised my head in disbelief, this old man said to me
“Son, you’re going nowhere, hide your vulnerabilities
And you won’t need anyone in life to set you free”

(ii) Hategeist
Feel the values dissolve,
Into some kind of traumatic hatred,
Question the reasons for answers,
Fuelling, complicating, psychotic make-up.

Trying another way,
Finding a darker day,
Blinded by lunacy – Elevating confrontation,
Fed with conspiracy,
Looking for signs of truth,
Crumbling humanity – Solitude, humiliation.

Desperation for response,
Patronising inconsideration,
Denial of self-respect,
Dignity devaluation.

Finding another plan,
Making a stronger stance,
For lost identity – Vehemence in bleak frustration,
Watching the plot unfold,
Feeling anger take hold,
Of broken sanity ….

(iii) Wilt

(iv) Terminal Velocity
Another whiskey down my neck,
Another powder up my nose,
Another risk for me to take
That’s the way the story goes.

Nothing lasts forever,
When nothing, nothing comes together.

One more excuse for me to greet,
The broken bones beneath my feet,
One more loose woman in my bed,
Another habit over-fed.

Nothing lasts forever,
When nothing, nothing comes together.

Self destruction overload,
Condition red, condition gone,
Nothing breaks a heart of stone,
Nobody hurts me when I’m alone.

Self destruction overload,
Condition red, condition gone,
Nothing breaks a heart of stone,
Nobody hurts me when I’m alone.

(v) Frame Collapse

(vi) Swamp
I remember old horizons, I remember,
Now I wander what became of me, senses crumbled,
Blinding lunacy, crushed identity, empty heart,
Shattered fragments lay around me torn apart,
Internal genocide, drowning holocaust, swamped in hate,
Spirit fallen, crawling, desperate to emancipate,
Neutered confidence, shattered temperament, broken vision,
In dark illusion I became a victim of my own confusion.

And so it goes on …

(vii) δx

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