Well, 2013 has been a pretty trying time so far, particularly in the last couple of months. I am normally good at dealing with whatever life throws at me but it does rather seem to have all come at once and it has left me in a bit of a less than ideal place.
In February and March, it was announced that the company I worked for for the last 15 years were making some redundancies and after what seemed like a very rapid process, this saw a good few of us losing our roles. This included some very talented and long term-served engineers and proved to be quite a major thing for us to come to terms with. I don’t normally speak about my professional life on my personal site and I won’t elaborate on it any more than I have already. Redundancy is commonplace in these times of economic struggle and quite a few people I know have been through the same thing. I have had a few leads for new roles in the last few weeks so hopefully I should find something in the not too distant future. It has been a major upheaval for me though. 15 years is a long time and encompasses most of my career and experience.
In early March, my mother sadly passed away. She had not enjoyed the best bill of health for many years of her life and she took a turn for the worse. Unfortunately she suffered a rather quick decline and was unable to pull through. Out of all the life changing experiences I have had in my life, I think this was the most profound. Mum was always there for me, always someone whom I could turn to, no matter what happened. We were always close and in the last couple of years, I can happily say that we were closer than we had ever been. I miss her dearly and I always will but take solace in the fact that she is no longer suffering. She left a wonderful legacy and touched everyone she met.
Round about the same time as this was going on, I sustained a rather bad knee injury which left me in a lot of physical pain. Thankfully this is on the mend now but it did leave me rather zombified with the painkillers for a while. I guess this masked what was going on in some ways but it did prevent me from enjoying my last days at work.
I’d like to say that my music has been an outlet as it often is in times of difficulty. I guess this has been half right. Although Phil decided to leave Dawn of Elysium in February, we managed to pull it together using software for drums and have since played a few gigs. It was a setback but it has worked well for us so far. We have not quite managed to get any new material together yet but there are ideas in the pipeline. Suicide By Cop has been a similar but in some ways opposite story. Stevie played his final gig with the band in early March and we commenced shortly after that with new drummer Liam. Rehearsal time has been thin on the ground due in part to my recent experiences, partly due to other peoples commitments. We have written a brand new song and rehearsed an old one so far. It is slow going but the commitment is there and progress is being made. So whilst the bands have continued, they have both been in a state where more work needs to be applied to get the results we need. Consequently, it hasn’t really felt like a therapeutic experience on the whole.
My abstinence from cigarettes has also taken a setback. We managed three months smoke free but after the stresses of March, the odd cigarette started happening which returned to almost old habits. I will address this again when I am feeling a bit stronger but at the moment, it is providing a crutch, not an ideal one but it kind of helps.
So at the moment, it is just a case of batting on. The job search seems to be happening pretty quickly as quite a lot of recruitment agents seem to be keen to speak with me on an almost daily basis. The music is happening slowly but surely and my family and friends have been fantastic throughout. I am sure as the summer develops, things will further improve bit by bit it is just a case of dealing with one day at a time. At least we are starting to see some nice sunshine.
Till next time ….