A hunger still unsatisfied

Last Friday, I came to the decision that I would like to start a brand new band to commence in earnest in the new year. I have come to the realisation that there is something missing for me in the musical things that I do and life is passing me by at an increasing rate. I want to be more active in a band and have more fun.

That is not to say that I am not happy with Dawn of Elysium by any stretch.

I love what we do and what we do is good in my opinion. However, in order to get the material to where it needs to be is not the easiest of things. It can be laborious to create, especially with the absence of a drummer and I also struggle to write the lyrics a lot of the time. Then I feel restricted in my guitar playing because I am also singing lead vocal.

When the material is ready to gig, opportunities for the more appropriate gigs seem to be limited, which I can maybe attribute to the nature of the size of the goth scene versus the number of bands that promoters have to accommodate. Despite some very encouraging and very appreciative audiences, progress is positive but comparatively glacial in pace.

We have tried additional (non-goth) gigs where possible and on the occasion where we can get the bookings, there simply doesn’t seem to be the audience. Perhaps people are simply not taking to it, perhaps it can be attributed to not enough promotion. In reality, it’s probably a bit of both. Although there have been those who have really enjoyed it, I have heard the phrase “I think you are great at what you do but it’s not really my cup of tea” a number of times. I’ve given CDs to people to listen to hoping for some feedback only to be met with silence. It simply is what it is and unless I am really missing something, it can never be anything else.

It has a whole lot yet to offer creatively and I will continue with it enthusiastically. It’s five and a half years since we started up and despite my sounding a bit negative, I am loving it more than ever and not about to let it go any time soon. I still believe in what we do, despite feeling a little disheartened at times. There’s no objective right or wrong when it comes to creating music, only what you believe is right for yourself and Dawn of Elysium is certainly right for me within the confines of itself.

However, what I really miss is jamming and creating music organically with a like-minded bunch of people, including live drums. Being able to relax behind my guitar and have some real fun.

Reflecting back on what I have done over the years. I think the last time I was truly happy in this type of situation was pre-2013 Suicide By Cop and the Wild Trash days. Grafting the rehearsals, getting out and playing gigs and perhaps having a bit of a decent following in my home town as well as playing a little further afield (something I have always, always wanted to do more of).

Anyway, 2013 onwards saw SBC grind to a halt. We attempted to reinvent and reboot the band with Echofire and despite us writing some great material, it never regained its mojo and lost momentum to the point where I felt unable to continue with it as it stood. This was remedied for them by getting a new line-up together and continuing with a fresh resolve, the results of which have been fantastic.

As an antidote for me, I set about getting a new band together, which became Man Down. Despite the odd flash of the old spirit returning in the latter half of 2016, it also ultimately suffered from lack of momentum which coupled with a bout of ill health led me to bow out of that project too. On reflection, I maybe threw myself into that too soon. It certainly wasn’t a waste of time for me because I had some great times with some great friends and it did let off some steam. Musically it lost its way in the new year of 2017 for me and that coupled with all the personal challenges that this year has presented me with led me to realise it wasn’t for me at the time. The by-product of it however is that there is still a band of sorts in existence with a new line-up so it hasn’t been a waste at all. I have not heard much of their progress but it all seems very encouraging.

So that brings me to here, the latter half of 2017 with many of the recent personal challenges out of the way and space to think properly.

Have I been fickle? I don’t think I have. In the last 8 years since 2009, I have left two bands, the former of which I stuck with for 6 and a half of them. Much has changed but much has stayed the same. I still have that hunger, that need to create and bounce off other band members. I have done some bits and pieces with friends in a home studio situation but I got stalled with that too. I need to get into the rehearsal room, make some noise, rock out, get sweaty and get excited then get out and play my bollocks off on stage.

To that end, I have put feelers out and am in communications with a number of people. There is a singer/lyricist who is itching to get going with something and a keyboardist whom I have been talking with for months about doing something. It sounds very encouraging. We have yet to get together and talk properly but I think the sound we produce might be of an alternative/indie/rock/punk vibe, judging by common influences. We will need a like-minded drummer and bassist to get things going properly and as such we’ll be actively looking and I will put a more concise advert together.

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