Zero tolerance for abuse

I have not had a great time of it recently, particularly today. The details of which I shall not go into. Suffice to say that I have been the recipient of various communications which have been abusive. I am adopting a zero tolerance approach to this and any number or profile which sends me any kind of abuse will be blocked with the messages permanently deleted and it does not matter who it is.

I am always open to conversation and adult constructive criticism. After all, none of us are perfect. However personal character assassinations are unacceptable. I suffered with bullies and abusive relationships in my young days and I refuse to be subjected to this again. Up with this I will not put!

2015 – All going in the right direction

2015 has been on the whole a positive year all round. There have been low points as there are most years but generally the year has been very productive. I have covered a lot of this in previous blog posts but here is my annual review.

I have really settled in to the job which I started in December 2014. It has really highlighted that I am capable of more than I gave myself credit for and also how much better off I am when not surrounded by negativity. The support and encouragement shown to me by my new colleagues has done wonders for my self-confidence. I am very happy and I really hope I can stay at this place for a long while.

This is the first full year for ages where I have not been involved in any venue/gig organisation. I am working on a gig in February at the 1-in-12 club (more news on that to follow) but nothing in 2015 and I have not missed it I have to say. I have done a number of nights DJing at The Black Swan throughout the course of the year. The pub is under new management now so whether or not these continue next year remains to be seen. I’m happy to get to do the odd night, it keeps my hand in. It will be coming up to 20 years since I started as a DJ.

Music-wise it has been a very positive but irritatingly not-quite-there-yet year.

Suicide By Cop was retired at the end of 2014 and we entered the rehearsal room in January with essentially a blank slate. We expanded our numbers and became a 5-piece and decided on the name Echofire. There were 4 songs which were carried through to the new project. We added a 5th and set about recording them with a view to releasing a 5-track EP. This was started at Voltage Studios. The first part of the year seemed to be very encouraging but around about spring time we lost the momentum. The recording project was shelved in order to concentrate on getting a set together for a June gig. This would have to involve covers in order to make the numbers up. For many bands this is fairly straight-forward but not so for us as we all have different tastes and so consequently it ended up with all of us suggesting songs which not all of us particularly wanted to do. We managed to salvage a couple and resorted to playing another old SBC song. The one gig we managed to play in reality came across as “SBC with a new guitarist playing one new song and a couple of covers”. Although the gig was OK despite Paul’s amp dying half way through, I came away feeling rather despondent and disappointed with the whole thing. It should have been so much more and so much better. Echofire was clearly not ready yet. After that we just kind of treaded water for a while and external Summer commitments rendered us out of action for a couple of months. When autumn arrived we started on some new music and I started doing some more work on the recordings. This injected a bit more positivity into it for me and although I have only to date mixed one of the songs, it has been a very positive and exciting learning curve. We were to be playing another gig in the December but this had to be cancelled due to health problems. In reality we were not really any further forward than we were for the previous gig and it came as some relief when we were no longer playing. When I look back on the year, overall I am very happy with what we have done so far but would’ve liked more of it. Next year we have decided to not think about anything other than writing new material and hopefully we can get an album and an entirely brand new set together. I will finish producing the EP and get that out of the way too.

Dawn of Elysium began the year with plans to record an album and in the main, this is what we have done. All of the recording work has been completed and production work has been progressed fairly well. There is still a fair bit to do. Martin Hawthorn is in the chair for production but autumn commitments for him have rendered studio time very thin on the ground. We have a little time over the Christmas period and we’re hoping to get it finished in the early part of the new year. Both Martin and I have got other studio projects which we want to embark on. We released an EP, which consisted of “The Last Time” – a song from the album, the recording of “Smoke and Mirrors” we did in 2013, a remix of the newly recorded version of the same song and a cover of Status Quo’s “Pictures of Matchstick Men”, which has been very well received as a live number. There are 10 tracks in progress for the album. Overall I think Dawn of Elysium is sounding much more professional, due in part to the time spent on pre-production and production of the album as well as regular rehearsal. We haven’t played very many gigs this year, just 5 in all but we hope to improve on this in 2016 and also to get a bit further afield.

In the spring time, I contributed to a charity single. It was a cover of the Gerry and the Pacemakers song “You’ll Never Walk Alone”, which featured a number of celebrities. It was released in aid of Bradford Burns Unit in commemoration of the 30th anniversary of the Bradford City fire. It was recorded and produced by Tim Walker at Voltage Studios. I played the majority of the guitar work on the single. We were both totally unsure of how it would turn out at first but after a short while, we got into the swing of it and I think I managed to put my own stamp on it. It was very well received and I was proud to be part of such a project.

Since the beginning of the year I have expanded my collection of recording studio equipment and am now fairly self-sufficient. I have learned much and am now producing results which I am very happy with. I have a few tentative plans for future recording projects but there is still a lot to complete before I can think about them. So, 2015 has had lots going on but to my eyes not much in the way of complete results. Hopefully 2016 will bear more fruit.

Missing inaction

Blimey, it has been 3 months since I last blogged anything. Time is flying past at an increasingly exponential rate.

In the later summer months, there was a lot of activity with finishing the recording and doing a lot of mixing work on the elusive Dawn of Elysium album. The intention was to release it at the gig we had at Carpe Noctum on 3rd October. However, despite pushing hard to get it done, it became apparent that this would not be ready in time and so we opted to release an EP instead.

Since that time, nothing has really happened as Martin, the producer has had various personal commitments to attend to. It will be ready when it is ready I guess. We all want to get it finished but at the moment, it’s not possible. We have achieved a lot so far and it’s sounding mega but circumstances are not on our side at the moment. Consequently, the album project has been semi put-on-ice for the time being.

In the DOE rehearsal room, we have been attempting to write new material but nothing is very developed yet.

Echofire recorded 5 tracks for a planned EP in the spring time and it was left untouched and unmixed for months. There is some vocal work left to do but the music is all there. We recorded it all at Voltage studios and kept meaning to go back in and finish it. I recently opted to take the source files and attempt the production myself. I have done the majority of the work on one song so far and I’m pretty pleased with the results. I have learned a lot and there’s a ton of work yet to do but at least it’s a bit further on than it was.

In the Echofire rehearsal room, it has been frustrating at times for various reasons. However, progress is being slowly but surely made. Maybe I have expected too much from it at times I don’t know. The band will only ever tick on at the pace at which it does and when it sounds good, it sounds great. This is what keeps my interest.

I think being part of two bands, both of which nominally rehearse every single week, have both been involved with recordings (to varying degrees) and gigs (to a lesser degree this last year) has taken its toll of late, especially given the frustrations outlined above. The last few weeks have been very low on any musical activity and it has been a welcome break. There are gigs coming up for both bands next month, with a further one for DOE on 19th December so we do need to crack on and prepare for those but as far as I am concerned any major studio activity is now on ice until the new year.

All of this has been exacerbated by a bout of seasonal adjustment, which often affects me at this time of year and doesn’t do much for motivation.

At the end of 2014 and the beginning of this year, I commented that I had not been involved in any new recorded material for quite some time. There now exists 17 recorded songs which are at various stages of completion, 4 of which have been released and none of which had been started until January. Although it would have been nice to have it all finished before the end of the year, I can still consider it to be some achievement. I had hoped to be onto new recording projects by now but as a friend reminded me recently, there’s no rush.

In other news, I have recently got myself a Roland GR55. The GR55 is a guitar synthesizer which also incorporates all of the various COSM instrument and amp modelling which Roland/Boss have included in their products over the last 15 years or so. I bought myself a Boss GT5 in the late 90’s and have always used the same series of multi-FX ever since, continuing with the GT6 when the GT5 came to an untimely end at a gig and more recently the GT8. So far, I have spent a few hours playing with the preset patches and started constructing one of my own. I think it will be a while before I can incorporate it into my live set-up properly. Annoyingly, it won’t quite cover everything I currently do with the GT8 as a multi-FX unit but it opens the door to a world of new synth and model sounds. It will take some thinking about but I plan to have lots of fun in the process!

My life in music: Part 1 (1980-1991)

Music has always been a big part of my life since I can ever remember. Over the years I have held an appreciation for many styles and sub-genres. I guess people may associate me with various flavours of rock and alternative music, particularly metal, punk and goth. However, upon reflecting back on the musical landscape which shaped me, there are some influences which may come as a surprise to some. Since I recently reached a certain milestone in my life, I thought it might be fun to document which music, bands, places and people have influenced me throughout my life.

This first period covers from when I can first ever remember music to any degree up until the first gig I attended.

1980-1991
My dad and uncles were a huge influence on me when I was a kid, exposing me to music from a very early age.

Stevie Wonder - Hotter Than July

Stevie Wonder’s Hotter Than July album (1980)

Long before my appreciation of noisy guitar based music, the very first artist I ever remember being exposed to in a big way was Stevie Wonder. I was born in the mid-seventies so I was too young to remember Stevie’s heyday (which was pretty much all of the seventies). However, the first album I remember hearing was 1980’s “Hotter Than July”, which contained the famous hits “Master Blaster (Jammin’)” and “Happy Birthday”. One of my favourite Stevie songs is also on this record, the ballad “Lately”, which I have been known to destroy on a karaoke from time to time!

Anyway, my parents bought me a cassette recorder at an early age and my dad copied a few of his LPs for me. Three very prominent Stevie records from this time for me were “Innervisions”, “Music of my Mind” and “Songs in the Key of Life”. Stevie’s music became a big part of my life and I went on to explore the rest of his catalogue, from the sublime albums “Talking Book” and “Fulfillingness First Finale” to the experimental “Secret Life of Plants”. There was nobody quite like him. Listening to Stevie Wonder taught me about emotion and different feelings in music more than any other artist at the time.

Adam and the Ants Prince Charming album (1981)

Adam and the Ants Prince Charming album (1981)

We always had the radio on at home in the late seventies / early eighties, which was a pretty good thing at the time. The first band I remember getting excited about was Adam and the Ants. I used to sing along to the singles on the radio, so much so that my parents bought me the Prince Charming album on LP (which I still have to this day). I remember the first time I listened to the album at my grandma’s house and being confused about there being other songs on the album other than the ones which I had heard on the radio. I was only 5 years old and the concept of album tracks had not yet reached my understanding. The LP was duly transferred to cassette as I was a bit young to be handling vinyl. My dad was very particular about this and taught me to have great respect for it. Later in my life, I revisited Adam Ant and collected more of his music but Prince Charming will always be special to me. Aside from the obvious single tracks, the song “Five Guns West” remains embedded in my memory from this time.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood's Welcome To The Pleasure Dome album (1984)

Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Welcome To The Pleasure Dome album (1984)

Many people look back at the pop music of the eighties with a mixture of amusement and ridicule. A band I remember enjoying at the time was Wham! OK, it was pop music of its time, it was cheesy and I was only a kid listening to the radio. I do still have a soft spot for Wham!. However, I do rate George Michael as a singer and songwriter and the “Listen Without Prejudice” album he later released was very good indeed (this album contained a brilliant version of Stevie Wonder’s “They Won’t Go When I Go”. I fondly remember a lot of the pop music of the time. I collected the “Hits” compilation tapes (I had volumes 1-5) and like many other kids, used to wait for the charts on the radio on Sunday evening so I could tape songs from the top 40. One band which I particularly liked was Frankie Goes to Hollywood. My dad bought the 12-inch single of “Two Tribes” and I listened to this a lot. I guess it was this record which first introduced me to the idea of extended remixes, which was very much an eighties thing. I later got the “Welcome to the Pleasure Dome” album. Trevor Horn’s production was so dynamic and the songs were quality.

Genesis Trespass album (1970)

Genesis Trespass album (1970)

Between the ages of 9 and about 12, my musical taste was mostly inspired by my dad, which was often inspired by his friend and colleague Paul. Each week we used to go to the library, choose a number of CDs and discover them together or he used to borrow music from Paul. Socially, I was a bit of a loner and music was my main companion I guess. Paul was a massive influence in my life and later introduced me to lots of weird and wonderful music. One album in particular which changed my life was “Trespass” by Genesis. There is something special about this album; it’s a unique mixture of light and shade, evoking pastoral scenery with sinister undertones. Peter Gabriel’s voice is sublime and the guitar work of Anthony Philips, coupled with Tony Banks’ keys and Mike Rutherford’s multi-instrumental talents was mesmerising. This was an important album to me. To date, it remains my favourite work by any artist and started my love affair with Genesis and exploration into the world of progressive rock.

Dire Straits Money For Nothing compilation album (1988)

Dire Straits Money For Nothing compilation album (1988)

About this time (slightly earlier in fact), I started listening to the music of Dire Straits and Mark Knopfler. I was obsessed and duly collected all of the albums which for a time were the only things I listened to on constant rotation. My obsession began with the compilation album “Money For Nothing” and went from there. To this day, I couldn’t give you a favourite particularly as I love all of them. However, one album which evokes memories of childhood summers is “Making Movies” and “Tunnel of Love” in particular reminds me of Peel Park fairground and the mixture of excitement and confusion associated with early adolescence.

Dire Straits Making Movies album (1980)

Dire Straits Making Movies album (1980)

I was a socially awkward kid and overwhelmingly shy. However, I did have some friends, the most prolific of whom at the time was my lifelong friend Richard Stubbs. Richard and I still remain in contact to this day. We continued our trips to the library and our discovery of music, soaking up many sounds.

Discovery records (formerly the Wax Museum), Westgate, Bradford

Discovery records (formerly the Wax Museum), Westgate, Bradford

About this time, we discovered the various record shops in Bradford city centre. Aside from HMV, there was Our Price, EGS and the two independent ones Rocks Off and The Wax Museum. The Wax Museum on Westgate was the place where I spent most of my Saturday mornings and afternoons. It was where most of my pocket money went and became the source of most of my music collection over the years. The shop later expanded and the CD section of it downstairs became Discovery.

At the height of its popularity, the whole business took up three floors of the building. At the time of writing, Discovery is still there, although I don’t get there so much these days.

I was about 13 or 14 at this point and I remember one evening after we had finished Richard’s paper round, we were sat in his bedroom playing records. He had an old nylon-string acoustic guitar which he never really used. I remember picking this up and for the very first time attempting to play a tune. I played along with the bassline to “Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones, at first attempting it left handed (with the instrument strung right handed). I later bought the instrument from Richard and set about learning to play. My dad showed me my first chords (after correcting me on the proper way to hold the instrument) and my auntie’s boyfriend at the time was a classical guitarist. He taught me how to fingerpick. Aside from this, I had no formal lessons. I also had a synthesiser at home which my parents had bought for me (Casio CZ1000) and in parallel with learning guitar, I played keys a bit. Around this time I was spending more and more time with my friend Paul Gooding and we started making what could loosely be described as music together, upsetting neighbours and making a load of row.

Casio CZ1000. The first instrument I ever owned

Casio CZ1000. The first instrument I ever owned

Trashcan Sinatras Cake album (1990) is one which invokes a few memories of being an awkward teenager.

Trashcan Sinatras Cake album (1990) is one which invokes a few memories of being an awkward teenager

I guess at the time, some of the music I was listening to was old-fashioned for a kid of my age but some of it was also quite challenging. A lot of my friends were getting into hard rock and heavy metal, which was really popular at the time. I actually didn’t really take to it at first, initially continuing with my appreciation of prog rock and the post-punk, alternative and indie sounds of the late eighties and early nineties.

The Wedding Present Seamonsters album (1991) - this tour was the first ever gig I went to. - Leeds Met. May 1991

The Wedding Present Seamonsters album (1991) – this tour was the first ever gig I went to. – Leeds Met. May 1991

My dad’s friend Paul introduced me to a myriad of great sounds, lots from around the time (The Wedding Present, Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. The Sundays, The Trashcan Sinatras, The Dustdevils) and some more vintage (Peter Hammill, Anthony Phillips). I went to my first gig when I was 15 in May 1991, which was The Wedding Present. They were touring their “Seamonsters” album with a band called Buffalo Tom supporting. The gig was at Leeds Met and I remember my ears ringing so loudly on the way home. I’m not sure if it was because it was my first ever live gig or what but I remember it to be the loudest I have attended.

Springing into Spring

With March well underway, we are beginning to see the bad weather subside ever so slightly and Spring is trying to break through.

February for me was a bit of a damp squib in some respects. On the positive side, Echofire (the new post-Suicide By Cop project) set off to a good start. It has been great working with Paul Gooding again and the band really feels like something new. We’re plugging away in the background.

Dawn of Elysium began the month with recording sessions for the album. However, we broke off for a gig at Leeds University for a new night called “Cyanide”. The gig itself wasn’t our greatest performance. For a start it was on a Monday night, which wasn’t ideal although it surprised me how many people attended. We were on with Bad Pollyanna who we’ve played with before and new (certainly to us) band Hands of Industry who I thought were fantastic. The soundman did a great job of sorting our sound out in what amounted to not much more than a line check due to limited time. It’s always a bum deal soundwise being the middle band on a 3 band bill and the team were very professional in getting us sorted as quickly as possible.

During the proceedings, I trapped a nerve in my neck. It happened just after our first song and put me off during the rest of the set, starting as a tension headache then creeping into the neck a day or so later. It took me out of action for a fair bit of February and the pain has only just subsided in the last week or so.

Anyway, as March arrived, we got back on track with the DOE recording and it’s making slow but steady progress. We’re breaking off for a gig on the 28th at the Black Swan with Hands of Industry but aside from that there is nothing in the calender until November. Nominally, we’d like to keep it that way until the album is finished but we’re always up for the right live opportunities in the meantime.

April is looking good with recording sessions for Echofire scheduled. We’re putting together a 5 track EP. I am particularly looking forward to this, as my involvement in any recorded output has been dry for far too long and it also provides the band with the relaunch it has so desperately needed.

We’re getting closer to April’s Whitby Goth Weekend which we bought our tickets for some time ago. I really enjoyed it last year, which was the first time I had attended. I’m looking forward to it, if nothing else than to get away for a few days. We’re doing Scarborough on the Friday night (a place I always love going back to), then Whitby on the Saturday and Sunday.

In June I have a major milestone birthday coming up, which my girlfriend and daughter have both been ribbing me about. :/ There is a “surprise” party planned, which despite my knowledge of date and venue I have no idea about what is being been planned. I’m sure I’ll thoroughly enjoy it.

Vienna plans are at the “pencilled in” stage with nothing booked as yet. We’re hoping for a week in mid to late summer.

One thing I am particularly excited about was getting tickets to see David Gilmour at the Royal Albert Hall in September. Pink Floyd have been one of my favourite bands for many years and David in particular has been a big inspiration to me. That is in September and we’ll be making a weekend of it down in London. I haven’t been to the big smoke many times in my life and only really went as a tourist once in 1996. I can already feel my Yorkshire gland twitching at the price of a pint. Perhaps if we know anyone London-side, they might furnish us with tips on where is good?

Now if this Spring weather could just try a little harder …..

2015 off to a great start

Just after halfway through January and already some small yet significant progress has been made.

Under the guidance of good friend Martin Hawthorn, the Dawn of Elysium album has commenced pre-production and improvements have been made across the board. Still lots to do but it is a nice feeling to have made a start.

The as yet un-re-named post-Suicide By Cop project has commenced in earnest and I am delighted to have my oldest musical companion and best friend Paul Gooding joining us on guitar as we took the decision to expand our numbers. Paul and I started playing guitar together in the late 80’s when we were young teenagers and it is a partnership which has continued on and off over the last 26 years. I am really happy to be rekindling it. Rehearsals as a 5-piece are set to commence this coming week. We are hoping to hit the studio pretty soon and have our first EP out in the first half of the year. I think the line-up change will be refreshing and will help make it feel like a new band. Now, we just need a name …

I have been spending some time tweaking and amending a lot of the text on this website, both in the bands section and the DJ/Events page. Feel free to have a peruse and if you have any comments or anything you would like to add/amend then please get in touch.

2014 – A work in progress year

2014 has been on the whole an odd year. Eventful, yet uneventful in some ways. I have been referring to it as a work-in-progress year.

I endeavoured to embark upon 2014 in a more productive, positive and focused manner and in the main that was the case.

I started the new year in a positive light, with a brand new full-time job to get myself involved with. The company was great with some really lovely people. However, as time went by, I increasingly felt that it wasn’t quite for me and set about looking for something new around August time. I found what I thought would be a great position and duly handed my notice in in the September. It had been around 20 years since I had actually left an employer and it was a scary and exciting prospect.

After a couple of months involving a rather stressful false start and a brief and very intense period of seeking new employment again, I landed a new role which I started at the beginning of December. I am looking forward to taking the job forward into 2015 and hopefully far beyond. The team are fantastic and I feel like I am settling in pretty quickly. That short but crazy time in between really brought home to me just how many people believe in me and I felt very humbled and much more confident in myself. I have evidently come a hell of a long way since the spring of 2013.

I also started the year involved with venue activities at Vampire. It seems like an age ago now. The club was great and had created a buzz but behind the scenes, the cracks were showing and the business did not last beyond February. Throughout March, April and May, I was involved with a place called Tavern In The Town to varying degrees but by that time, I had lost motivation and if I’m honest was getting a bit disillusioned by the whole thing. I had started my new job in January and whilst that was going well, I found I was struggling to do everything that I had set out to do and in particular, I felt my music was suffering because of it. I left the whole thing behind sometime around Spring Bank and the owner decided to make some fundamental changes to the venue anyway, rendering it somewhat different from what we believed to be the original brief.

The whole spring/early summer period of 2014 was an emotionally murky time for a few reasons and it was apparent that some re-evaluation was necessary. In contrast to the tragedy and intensity of 2013, it was more a period of coming to terms with and putting to bed many things.

The bands have carried on regardless throughout the year.

Dawn of Elysium played a decent chunk of gigs. Less so than 2013 but what we did play was (in the main) good. There was some progress with new material but not much and no recorded output. I am really wanting to improve on both in 2015.

Suicide By Cop grinded on painfully, managing just 3 gigs in 2014. We were getting nowhere, really slowly and we had lost focus. We took the decision to finish the project at the end of the year and start afresh in 2015 with a new name, retaining only the newest material. The band as it was had run its course some time ago and it was only after our friends band made a similar decision to start afresh that we came to terms with this for ourselves. Since making that decision and playing the old songs for the final time, I am genuinely excited about letting go of the old baggage and progressing things as we should. The last gig was on 5th December, almost 6 years after the band started. To coincide with this, we have released a 15-track album of all of the material which was recorded throughout the lifetime of the project. Entitled “Zeitgeist”, it comprises the three EPs and some previously unreleased songs.

Despite the lack of newly recorded output, I released a remastered version of the Dark Embrace Tears of Pain EP from 1995 as well as completing the Dawnraiser album Blow By Blow from 1996.

In August, I had the opportunity of buying a car from an elderly relative who was giving up driving. I had been toying with the idea of getting a vehicle anyway so quite quickly I got myself on the road. I had not driven since I had passed my test in 1998 and I surprised myself at just how quickly it came back to me. Apart from the odd prang, I have been generally doing well with my driving and it has improved day to day life in a lot of ways.

All in all a good work-in-progress year. I have sorted out the foundation pieces of my life and found a good job, got myself driving etc. and things have improved significantly. Music has unintentionally been left on a back burner which is something I want to rectify in the new year.

Here’s to 2015 and all the adventures it brings.

Dawnraiser – Blow By Blow (1996) Digitally Remastered

I have recently been trawling through the archives again and to follow on from August’s Dark Embrace EP remaster, I decided to collect and digitally remaster all of the Dawnraiser material which we wrote and recorded in the period 1995/1996.

Back in the day, it was our intention to compile all of these tracks, which made up the first three demos plus some previously unreleased material and release it as an album entitled “Blow By Blow”. Well, here it is 17 years later.

The songs have all been digitised from my original master cassettes and remastered using Audacity.

Spring Break

It has been some time since I last put digit to qwerty and published a blog. The last few months have been a bit hectic really but also frustratingly unproductive in parts. I now realise that this was because I was trying to do too many things.

As I reported in my last entry, Vampire, the club with which I was involved closed in February and we kind of moved the operation across town to a brand new venture called Tavern In The Town. This is located on Barry Street where Bradford Rio’s moved in 2009 and for a brief spell housed the now defunct Gasworks rock club.

The place itself has seen some major refurbishment and has been trading since 14th March, playing host to many bands and club nights and also establishing itself as the latest pub to go to. There is still much work to be done but it has established a good vibe and I have enjoyed many a pint in there already. The team behind it really did bust a gut to get the place up and running in a short space of time. The venue was pretty dilapidated and required a fair bit of remedial work. It had not been left in the best of conditions.

From an entertainments point of view, I had been easing off on the events side of things at Vampire because we didn’t know what was going on for a time. I knew the location of the new place but a name had not been decided upon at that time so any advertising would have been impossible. Anyway, we got the go ahead with the name and opening date so I set about building up the calendar again, along with new website and social media. It was certainly very exciting to be part of a brand new place and I have been loving it, hearing ideas, discussing plans etc.

However, I noticed especially over the course of the last 3 or 4 weeks I was finding not only the club role but everything in my life increasingly difficult. I wasn’t sleeping properly at night, I was getting frustrated at myself for not being able to do a decent job with my bands, not managing to summon up much in the way of creativity or managing to do things which need doing and although I have been doing well in my day job, I felt as though I could be doing better. I was feeling tired most of the time and because of the lack of rest, stressing about the least little things. I felt as though I was letting everybody down, most of all myself. This was not doing my state of mind much good and I have found myself in some rather dark places mentally at times.

Anyway, I realised that something had to give somewhere along the way. I had too much on my plate. So this week, after much soul searching I decided to take a step back from the venue side of things. It wasn’t so bad when we started with Vampire back in September as I was not in full time employment at the time and so had plenty of spare time and energy to give.

I really wish everyone involved with the Tavern all the very best and I will certainly support the place as much as I am able. I am just sorry that I can’t do the job to the extent that it requires. There is the opportunity there to have something fantastic for the city and I am looking forward to seeing its evolution. There are some talented young promoters and bands emerging and this could be the perfect platform for them to forge a bright future, as well as get some more established bands back into Bradford. Get involved, get stuck in!

2013 – My year in review

As 2013 draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on what has been a very chaotic and eventful year. Lots of downs and some ups.

It started off in January with a flurry of Suicide By Cop activity as we entered the studio to complete our final recordings with Stevie Ward before his announced departure. Most of the results were released as the Ice Cold Sunshine EP. The rest of the songs we kept back as we are planning to release a full 15 track album. This will include all of the songs which we wrote and recorded between 2009 and 2012. The release date and title are as yet undecided but we want to coincide it with the release of a brand new EP sometime in early 2014.

In February, tensions which had been surfacing in Dawn of Elysium between drummer Phil Holroyd and the rest of the band finally came to a head. This resulted in him leaving the band. As these things often are, it wasn’t really a massive deal in hindsight. It was unpleasant for us all at the time but in reality it was a situation which arose from misunderstandings. It was the first time Phil had been in a band and he underestimated perhaps what was involved and maybe we expected more from him than he could give. It could have been handled better but it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just band stuff. He’s a great guy and a great drummer and our first EP Sense of Belonging is testament to this. We haven’t really spoken since but we certainly bear no ill feeling towards him.

Around about this time, it was announced that the company for which I had worked for 15 years was planning on making a considerable number of redundancies. It was scary to think that I could lose the job I had loved for many years from the company which had provided me with most of my professional experience and education. It was all I had really known.

March started off with Suicide By Cop’s final gig with Stevie. It was a fantastic night and it was great to have one last blast. We were genuinely sorry to see Stevie go but in reality, we had kept him for a bit longer than he originally planned in order to draw a fitting line underneath everything.

Throughout March, we developed the sound of Dawn of Elysium considerably as we switched to programmed drums as well as adding more atmosphere by introducing various effects. I think Phil’s departure brought a much needed kickstart to the band and the three of us became closer as musicians and friends.

On 28th March, my world fell apart as my mother passed away. To say I was absolutely devastated would be an understatement. It all happened so very quickly and it is something that I presently don’t think I will ever fully come to terms with.

We had planned an all day event called Honeypot at The New Beehive which took place on the 30th, just two days later. After much soul searching, I decided to press ahead with the gig and I am so glad I did. The love and support I received from all of my friends that day was overwhelming and just what I needed. The only bad thing to stem from that day is my breaking my three month abstinence from cigarettes, something which has remained broken since and which I am planning to address in the new year.

In the days to follow, the redundancy period was happening very rapidly and shortly after losing my mother, I also lost my job.

They say that these things often happen in threes and my final days of employment were ruined for me by a very painful injury to my knee. This rendered me immobile and in a lot of pain and my friends kindly helped me retrieve my personal belongings (which had mounted up considerably in my time there). The painkillers I was using zombified me for a time. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, probably neither.

The spring/summer months saw me begin my journey towards finding new employment, whilst taking some time out to recuperate and recharge the batteries a bit. My confidence was in tatters and it was difficult to try and find my place in the world, especially since the one person to whom I always turned in times of difficulty was no longer there.

However, it has to be said that my girlfriend Emma has been a rock for me throughout all of these times and beyond and I truly love and appreciate her for everything.

Gigs with Dawn of Elysium were happening very frequently and they helped to occupy my mind to some degree. It was great to finally get out there, play in front of new people and make some fantastic new friends.

Suicide By Cop started on the long and difficult road getting used to a new band member in the shape of drummer Liam Brook. He had not played for years and his confidence was low when he joined the band. We essentially started from scratch but with that came a couple of much needed brand new songs. We rehearsed as and when we could and progress was very slow for a while but we stuck at it.

I went for a number of job interviews, initially losing more confidence with each one. I found it a harrowing experience overall. I very nearly secured a job in August and reached the point where it was between myself and one other candidate but alas this was not to be as they chose the other fella in the end.

At the end of August, we went on holiday to Vienna to visit my elderly relatives. It had been 13 years since I had been on holiday to a foreign destination and almost 25 years since I visited Austria as a child. It was exactly what we all needed. We had a fantastic time and returned with some very special memories. It was lovely to connect with some of my roots and I really want to go back in the not too distant future.

Upon returning home, my job search continued to no avail at first and hope was a bit thin on the ground. However, in late September a lifeline was presented to me as an ex-colleague offered me the opportunity to do some short term contracting work. This lasted 5-6 weeks and really gave me a much needed boost.

Around about this time, some friends of mine opened a new venue/nightclub in the West End area of Bradford called Vampire. I found myself falling in love with the club and taking the opportunity to be in the position of club promoter. I ploughed my all into it, working with the owners on building a roster of varied entertainment from the ground up. The initial push was demanding at first but served well to occupy my time before my contract work started.

Throughout October, I enjoyed working again for the first time in what seemed like an age. Things were starting to look up. The contract was temporary but it really brought my confidence level back up. I continued my search for further work and when the contract finished in early November, I stepped up the search, whilst enjoying my free time for the first time in ages.

A highlight of November was taking my daughter to her very first gig. It was for her 15th birthday. It was fitting as the gig took place at Leeds Met, which is where I went to my first gig when I was 15. She loved it and we loved taking her. I am looking forward to taking her to many more. I am immensely proud of the way she has turned out. She shares the same passion for rock music as me and she is very intelligent. I love her very much.

In early December, my friend informed me of a job which was going at his place of work. I duly applied and was offered an interview more or less straight away. After the first interview, I was invited back for a second and I am happy to say I was successful in securing the job. This allowed me to breathe a huge sigh of relief and enjoy the Christmas period with peace of mind.

We finished December off with two gigs, one for each band. These took place on consecutive nights at Vampire. The Dawn of Elysium gig was very enjoyable and we are hoping that it will be the last one playing the same set. We are gig weary from the gigs we have done and are eager to take some time out and write more material. Although we have a couple of gigs booked in February, we’re hoping to invest in more development time. We’re also in the process of finding another guitarist to give the sound more dimension.

The Suicide By Cop gig for me was more enjoyable. We hadn’t played live since Stevie’s last one in March. It was the first one with Liam and there were a lot of nerves building up to the gig. It was nice to finish off the year with our first gig together and we are all now very excited about starting 2014 in a much more positive light. Liam has now very much put his own stamp on the band and it has been great to see his confidence build up over the last few months. It has been a tough year for the band and there have been times when each one of us has probably considered our enthusiasm for it but the dedication and hard work have paid off. There is much work to do but I think the hardest bit of that first milestone is done.

The festive period has been an enjoyable but strange one. Christmas was always about family and the foundation of that for me and for many of us in the family was Mum. Certain things have changed in the family which I haven’t been ready to deal with so far and certainly Christmas was something that needed to happen before I could even bring myself to begin to. Consequently, this has seen me employing a certain amount of distance towards some of my family for a while. It certainly hasn’t been out of malice or ill feeling. I guess it’s just a part of the grieving process. Hopefully, when the decorations have been taken down and I start a new year with a clearer mind I can start to deal with a few things better.

We spent Christmas day with my friend Magda and Emma’s Mum. It was a lovely day and after a brief period of stress earlier on whilst we got the food all sorted, it was very relaxing.

And so, we are left with planning our last few nights out of the year before a new start next week. Looking forward to a fresh start, new job, security, new non-smoking regime, more productive in my music projects (bands and venue) and hopefully start to take better care of myself.

2013 has been a very emotional and at times a reckless journey but I survived it. It was probably one of the most challenging years I have experienced. Massive love and thanks to all my wonderful family and friends for helping me through it but most of all thank you to my wonderful Emma for being right by my side every step of the way. I can never express how much that meant and I will be forever grateful.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of the season and all the very best for 2014.

Blast from the past – a Dawnraiser retrospective.

I was looking through some old files on my computer recently and I came about this retrospective I wrote. Dawnraiser was a band I was involved with throughout the 90s. Despite the similarity in name, it bears no relation to my current band Dawn of Elysium or in fact anything to do with goth. It was for a proposed anthology CD of the material that was recorded throughout the band’s existence. I thought I had lost this version, it certainly invoked a lot of distant memories. It seems I was big on exclamation marks in 2002.

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Dawnraiser – A Retrospective

This document was written in the January of 2002, just a few months before the 10th anniversary of the beginning of a relatively unknown band, that played a big part in the lives of a handful of Bradford’s local rock and metal musicians throughout a lot of the nineties. It therefore seemed appropriate to reflect on the history of this band, which for some of us was an important stage in our musical development.

It was 1991 and Paul Gooding and I had been attempting to make what could loosely be described as music for a year or two. We had a lot of fun with many friends, sporadically rehearsing in bedrooms, attics and even an old kitchen that was rented out as a rehearsal room by the owner of Fretz guitar shop in Westgate, Bradford. People came and went but Paul and I stuck together and at the same time, other people we knew from round our way, were doing similar things in other places. After many attempts at forming a band, we eventually played our first gig in the October under the name ‘Polaris’ at Wrose Community Centre to a youth club full of young children. There were four of us: Paul, Myself, Craig Dearing and Robert Pinkney (Bob). Craig played guitar, the rest of us swapped between guitar, drums and keyboards and I sang. There was no bass guitar and everything was out of tune (the 2 keyboards were even out of tune with each other at one point!!). Paul and Craig were both into heavy metal and Bob and I weren’t particularly. Consequently, the music wasn’t that heavy at the time and there was even a cheesy ballad (no, it really was cheesy !!). Also, we managed to play a couple of basic covers. The event was filmed and thankfully lost. Some basic home-recorded material does exist from around that period but is definitely not fit for human consumption !!

Throughout the course of the next year people came and went. Bob stopped playing in bands, choosing instead to play music at home for his own pleasure. Craig, along with some other old schoolmates formed a band called ‘The Edge’ which I briefly joined whilst Paul jammed with Hadrian Smith and various other friends of ours. By 5th November 1992, after doing different things with numerous combinations of people, we managed to form a new band and have our first proper rehearsal. Our evenings were mostly spent in a freezing council flat in Thorpe Edge. With no money, not much talent, even less equipment and too many hormones, the line-up and name were eventually settled upon and the name Dawnraiser was born. The keyboards had gone, Paul and I played guitar, Dale Goodridge played bass guitar and Michael Ayres and David Ayres assumed the roles of drummer and vocalist respectively. After about 3 months of rehearsing, the band’s first gig was booked for February 15th, 1993. Again, it was to be at the Wrose Community Centre only this time it was by invitation and would involve people over the age of 10, most of which weren’t our parents.

Unfortunately, in the weeks approaching the gig, I fell Ill with a particularly bad case of tonsillitis and was bedridden. Because of this, I was unable to attend the rehearsals. Postponing the gig was seemingly out of the question and so it was seen fit to draft Hadrian Smith in as a ‘temporary’ replacement guitarist, with him learning all the songs (even writing new ones) and playing the gig. The first song that we wrote as a band ‘Let Sleeping Dogs Lie’ was performed on this night.

Unbeknown to me, it had been decided that Hadrian was to become a permanent replacement for me and so my involvement with this first incarnation of Dawnraiser was ended. Paul and I kind of lost touch for a while after that.

The lads went on to make their first recording at Fulton Street Studio, Bradford, which comprised of just 2 songs – ‘Infected’ and ‘Let Sleeping Dogs Lie’. This, like all of the early demos was never actually circulated or sold. With this line-up the band played numerous gigs, including the last ever gig to take place at ‘The Wheatsheaf’ rock pub in Bradford. Another demo was recorded entitled ‘Bad Days’ and was recorded in one overnight session, again at Fulton Street studio and included the songs ‘Let Sleeping Dogs Lie’, ‘DIAD’, ‘Rage’ ‘Infected’ and ‘Schizophrenic’. By now, they had secured a proper rehearsal room in the same complex, rehearsing next door to other local bands such as ‘Chorus of Ruin’, ‘Nailbomb’ and ‘Ironside’, and their direction was already pointing more towards a thrash metal type sound. This line-up was fairly stable for a few months but in January 1994, Hadrian decided to leave to become a full time member of ‘The Edge’. As times were changing, different influences were being introduced and Sean Hartley briefly appeared as additional ‘rap’ vocalist. Craig Dearing stepped in as a replacement for Hadrian and another demo was recorded in February 1994 at Inner City studio, Bradford. ‘Supernatural Ability to Avoid Bullets’ contained the tracks ‘Under Pressure’ and ‘Anything’. However, after that, the line-up became unstable and despite continuing attempts by Paul to keep it together and a gig in early March, the first Dawnraiser had finally bitten the dust by the end of the same month.

Whilst all this had been happening, I had been looking for a new band for the best part of 2 years and after many encounters with all manner of characters, I finally stumbled across a group of people that were to become ‘Dark Embrace’ in May 1994. A year into the band, after a few gigs and our first demo, some members of the band started taking part in a black metal side project called ‘Necromancer’. Round about that time, Paul and I had re-established contact with each other and Paul was itching to get some sort of band going. I suggested that as a side project, we could reform Dawnraiser with the 2 of us as guitarists, Dale on bass and vocals and a drummer I’d met on my travels called Stuart Lockwood. Everyone seemed up for it, so we commenced rehearsals on 9th June 1995. The new Dawnraiser sound very quickly became much more direct and heavy than before.

After a short while, Dale decided to leave to concentrate on his main band ‘Homesick’ so we asked ‘Necromancer’ bass player Ian Bell if he was interested in taking his place. Ian accepted and settled in comfortably and the 4 of us gelled instantly. Within a month, we had written the music for around half a dozen songs and played an instrumental support gig for ‘Dark Embrace’ at Scruffs and Snobs, Bradford. For this gig, we invited ex-Chorus of Ruin vocalist Phil Kirk along to see us to decide if he was interested in joining. He signed up the week after and we soon became a 5 piece. This worked well for a couple of months and over the xmas period of 1995, we played 2 successful gigs at Rio’s, Bradford and in January 1996, we booked to record our first demo tape at Voltage Studios, Bradford. However, up to a week before we were scheduled to go in and record, there was much concern that things weren’t working out with Phil and we were unsure as to whether he would actually turn up or not. So, thrown in at the deep end, we attempted to decipher the lyrics for ‘Human Collision’ and ‘Alone’ from one of the gigs we’d had filmed, which was not easy due to the heavy, aggressive vocal delivery employed by Phil at the time, coupled with the poor quality of audio on the video tape. We managed to make out some words and add what we could in the short space of time we had to pad them out, but the tracks themselves never really came out sounding as was originally intended. Phil never did show and I took on the full time role of vocalist. On these songs, you can actually hear my voice still breaking itself in and I had a sore throat for a week afterwards. The demo itself was simply entitled ‘I’. The intention was to follow it up with two further demos with the imaginative titles of ‘II’ and ‘III’, record another couple of songs and release the whole lot as an album. By this time, I had decided to concentrate on Dawnraiser full time and so I left Dark Embrace to be replaced by Rohan from Necromancer.

After more intensive rehearsals and re-writing lyrics to the remaining tunes, we returned to the studio to record our second demo and by this time, we felt our sound had become tighter and slightly more professional. Further gigs were played and then the third demo was recorded. It was after this that we started playing covers and Stuart assumed the position of band manager. This gave us a wider scope of venues at which we could perform and consequently more experience of gigging to different audiences. We played anywhere that would have us, even making a little money and we experienced our first out of town gig at ‘The Ruskin Arms’, East Ham, London – the old stomping ground of one of our favourite bands and biggest influences at the time ‘Iron Maiden’. I remember travelling all that way to play to half a dozen disgruntled customers, the bar staff and the DJ. Oh well, some you win, some you lose. Also, round about this time the band also played the last ever gig to take place at ‘The Smithy’ rock pub in Bradford.

After a while, I decided that I wanted to concentrate solely on my guitar playing and so we agreed to take on singer Carl Brook. With Carl we rehearsed more covers than our own material as that was his background, and vocals soon became a joint effort with Carl doing mostly covers and myself doing the more aggressive Dawnraiser material. We played our last 2 proper gigs with Carl in March 1997 at Rio’s (20th) and The Gallopers (21st), Bradford respectively. After these gigs, most of the band felt that we should move on, leave the covers behind, get heavier and write some more of our own material. Unfortunately, it was felt that this also meant parting company with Carl. He wasn’t keen on the heavier stuff anyway, so the split was fairly amicable.

Shortly after this, Paul and I attempted to write some new material but I felt at the time like it was no longer working for me. My desire was to move away from the thrash metal sound into something new and different and the other guys wanted to try a Machine Head / Fear Factory type approach. I left and was replaced by the perfect man for the job. Hamish Kemp had been making his own music at home for a while and Ian had collaborated with him on occasion. I rejoined the band in August 1997 to play one final gig at Mark Brookes’ wedding reception. However, despite rehearsals sounding good, free alcohol got the better of me and I foolishly managed to make it what would have been the worst ever Dawnraiser performance. This was only saved by us overloading a fuse and killing the power. Apologies to all concerned for my conduct that evening.

After a couple of months, Hamish and Stuart both left but Dawnraiser carried on for a while, rehearsing and trying out different people including Mick Walsh from Keighley based thrash band ‘Mannix’. However, despite continuing efforts, the band sadly dwindled away and was finally put to rest in the new year of 1998. We recorded one more track together after the band had finished – ‘Broken Hope’. This was perhaps our best song and it’s a shame that it never got put out on a demo.

Most of us moved on to other musical projects at various times after that and on the Bradford scene ‘Bloodstream’ had already started making some noise by the time Dawnraiser finished. I always felt that locally, they kind of picked up the music where Dawnraiser left off. Although they by no means copied us, as a band they had their own character and 4 years later, they sound quite different. I suppose it’s kind of fitting that at the time of writing, Ian Bell is presently their bassist. People have always moved around and played in bands with each other in the Bradford scene and I suspect they always will. This is a documented retrospective of just one of those bands.

In the ‘95 to ‘97 phase of the band, we always wanted to put all our songs out together as one concise album but never did. To do so now in the way we originally intended would be somewhat of an anachronism 5 years down the line. So what we present here is more of a ‘history of’, an audio scrap book if you like. We’ve dived into the archives and taken material from all the old master cassettes recorded throughout the entire history of the band and tried to improve the sound to the best of our abilities. In listening to what we had, we also re-discovered 2 songs which we had completely forgotten about, although these were merely rough rehearsal cassettes of which the sonic quality can only be described as dubious at best.

It’s unlikely now that Dawnraiser will ever resurface as a fully working unit and although we had a good innings and enjoyed a reasonable local following for a while, at the time of writing it is 4 years since the last proper rehearsal. Although some of us went on to work together and will probably continue to do so, we’ve all since moved on and most of us have drifted away from that style of music. Looking back, there were some good moments and some fairly embarrassing ones. We weren’t particularly original, we never professed to be but we had a helluva lot of fun at the time. We hope you have as much fun listening.

Enjoy !!!

Alec Marlow,

January 2002.

“Dedicated to Steve Gooding, without whom none of the above would have been possible – Thanks from all of us.”

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So that was nearly 12 years ago. We planned on playing a gig or two just after that was written but all plans for gigs and the CD were shelved in the spring of 2002 as rehearsals proved problematic, plus Paul and I had joined Reeved.

Seven years later, we got a line-up together for a bunch of rehearsals and one last gig in the spring of 2009. It was a lot of fun but I vowed after that that I would never do it again. Too many years had passed since I had played that kind of music and both my enjoyment for playing it and my ability to play at the speed required had long since faded. Now and again, I throw one of the MP3s on for posterity. There are bits on Soundcloud but there are still a lot of the tracks which need digitising better, since our original attempts at remastering left a lot to be desired. I will maybe sort it out and open a Bandcamp page up one of these days when I have the time and inclination.

Back in the game – Vampire, Bradford

Well, as you may well have picked up on by now, I have decided to make a return to venue work. It’s for a new club in the University area of Bradford called Vampire. Follow the link to find out everything about the club itself. The club opens next Friday (13th September) and we will have a mixture of rock and alternative bands and DJs with more emphasis on the alternative.

I am really looking forward to this as I love the place. It reminds me of clubs from years gone by. A basement bar, not very big (200 tops) but very dark with loads of cool lights and oozing with atmosphere. It was itching to be turned into something alternative. I have already booked quite a few events but this is really just the start. Lots of work to be done but it will be well worth it.

I hope my Bradfordian friends can get behind this place. We need more live venues and particularly alt club nights and it’s great to have people who are willing to invest into making that happen.

The Under The Gun nights I spoke about in my last blog entry will remain unaffected and will continue to run down at The Black Swan.

These times are sent to try us

Well, 2013 has been a pretty trying time so far, particularly in the last couple of months. I am normally good at dealing with whatever life throws at me but it does rather seem to have all come at once and it has left me in a bit of a less than ideal place.

In February and March, it was announced that the company I worked for for the last 15 years were making some redundancies and after what seemed like a very rapid process, this saw a good few of us losing our roles. This included some very talented and long term-served engineers and proved to be quite a major thing for us to come to terms with. I don’t normally speak about my professional life on my personal site and I won’t elaborate on it any more than I have already. Redundancy is commonplace in these times of economic struggle and quite a few people I know have been through the same thing. I have had a few leads for new roles in the last few weeks so hopefully I should find something in the not too distant future. It has been a major upheaval for me though. 15 years is a long time and encompasses most of my career and experience.

In early March, my mother sadly passed away. She had not enjoyed the best bill of health for many years of her life and she took a turn for the worse. Unfortunately she suffered a rather quick decline and was unable to pull through. Out of all the life changing experiences I have had in my life, I think this was the most profound. Mum was always there for me, always someone whom I could turn to, no matter what happened. We were always close and in the last couple of years, I can happily say that we were closer than we had ever been. I miss her dearly and I always will but take solace in the fact that she is no longer suffering. She left a wonderful legacy and touched everyone she met.

Round about the same time as this was going on, I sustained a rather bad knee injury which left me in a lot of physical pain. Thankfully this is on the mend now but it did leave me rather zombified with the painkillers for a while. I guess this masked what was going on in some ways but it did prevent me from enjoying my last days at work.

I’d like to say that my music has been an outlet as it often is in times of difficulty. I guess this has been half right. Although Phil decided to leave Dawn of Elysium in February, we managed to pull it together using software for drums and have since played a few gigs. It was a setback but it has worked well for us so far. We have not quite managed to get any new material together yet but there are ideas in the pipeline. Suicide By Cop has been a similar but in some ways opposite story. Stevie played his final gig with the band in early March and we commenced shortly after that with new drummer Liam. Rehearsal time has been thin on the ground due in part to my recent experiences, partly due to other peoples commitments. We have written a brand new song and rehearsed an old one so far. It is slow going but the commitment is there and progress is being made. So whilst the bands have continued, they have both been in a state where more work needs to be applied to get the results we need. Consequently, it hasn’t really felt like a therapeutic experience on the whole.

My abstinence from cigarettes has also taken a setback. We managed three months smoke free but after the stresses of March, the odd cigarette started happening which returned to almost old habits. I will address this again when I am feeling a bit stronger but at the moment, it is providing a crutch, not an ideal one but it kind of helps.

So at the moment, it is just a case of batting on. The job search seems to be happening pretty quickly as quite a lot of recruitment agents seem to be keen to speak with me on an almost daily basis. The music is happening slowly but surely and my family and friends have been fantastic throughout. I am sure as the summer develops, things will further improve bit by bit it is just a case of dealing with one day at a time. At least we are starting to see some nice sunshine.

Till next time ….

Oblogatory

Well, it has been just over a year since my last proper blog entry. I don’t have much new to say and I don’t know if anyone will read much of this but my friend Wayne hinted I should write an update. So, why not?

2012 was a fantastic and chaotic year. As I stated in my previous entry, there were many changes in the latter part of 2011 and it was a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions as I left my old life and started to establish a new one. I resolved that 2012 was to be a year of fun and happiness and in the main part it was. There were gigs, festivals, parties, nights out, random trips and lots of spontaneity – which was exactly what I needed to blow away the cobwebs. New friendships were forged and sadly some old friendships faded. Lessons were learned about people, places and situations and overall, a sense of perspective was gained.

As the year went on, the apartment I moved into in September 2011 turned into “home” and my girlfriend and I began the process of settling down together properly. It has been a period of adjustment for both of us as we have tried to strike the balance between planning for the future and living for the moment. We are getting there now I think.

Musically, it was very much two sides of a coin.

On one hand, the new project (originally The Wraith) which began last January evolved nicely after a slightly shaky start and ended up becoming Dawn of Elysium. It took a little while but we developed it into something which we are all very happy with, managing to do our first couple of gigs and record our debut EP before the year was out. The future looks exciting for Dawn of Elysium and I am looking forward to getting back into the rehearsal room now that the New Year period has elapsed. I blogged about this on the Dawn of Elysium site.

On the other hand, it wasn’t the best of years for Suicide By Cop, saved in the main by playing at Nice ‘n’ Sleazy in Morecambe last June. Gigs and even rehearsals were thin on the ground for most of the year due to external commitments and problems. This ended up with our drummer, co-founder and my best friend Steve Ward deciding to leave the fold. I wrote about this on the Suicide By Cop site if you want to read about it. We are all saddened by this, including Steve and we are set to finish this phase of the band properly with some more recordings and a farewell gig due to happen in March. The rest of us have resolved to soldier on and find a replacement. Despite my current despondency towards the situation, I personally think that the project has a lot left to offer and I believe we still have our best years ahead of us. We have been going for 4 years and in the grand scheme of things, we haven’t really done very much gig-wise. We have some great material which I am very proud of and have committed a decent portion of it to disc but there is still more to do to realise the potential of the band.

The studio based project (The Last Cut) has not happened yet to any real degree. There has been a small start and a few emails / conversations but no real work has started as yet. It remains to be seen whether we will get round to it in 2013. I would personally like to but it depends on other people’s commitments as well as my own, it just hasn’t worked out very well just yet.

After an enthusiastic start to the year, I gradually all but phased out my promotions activities. The Commercial gig didn’t come off in the end as the management chose not to adopt the live music format. Right Up The Bracket II at Bradford Rio’s was a great day but despite talking about it, I never did any more events for the club before its closure in April. I did a few events for The Black Swan in the first half of the year, including DJ nights and also helped with a punk night at a short lived venue called Utopia but after a while, I admitted to myself that I wasn’t enjoying it and I wanted to concentrate on my bands. That said, I am collaborating in organising an all-dayer this year at The New Beehive. I like being involved in the odd event here and there and am not ruling out more. At the moment, I have had my fill of DJing. I had some great times last year but I think I would like to give it a good rest for a while. I am up for doing the odd night here and there if asked but am not actively seeking it.

I have enjoyed being a punter for a while to be honest. It has been nice to discover/rediscover more places this year. We occasionally have nights out in Halifax and Leeds and it has been a refreshing change. I think we’ll be visiting these places in particular more regularly as and when time and finances allow.

I have resolved to stop smoking this New Year and thus far I have managed 8 days smoke free. I know it is early days and I have been down this road before a few times so I don’t want to turn this into some half arsed smoking diary which may or may not get abandoned. Nonetheless, I have been 8 days with no cigarettes or any replacement therapy and the cravings have subsided to a large degree. After a tricky night in the pub at the weekend, the drinking side of things started settling down as we (unusually) went out on Sunday and Monday night too. I do feel I am ready to end my 18 year relationship with nicotine now. It has been a wholly fruitless experience on reflection and I am sure my lungs and bank balance will thank me for it. I have done the easy part of giving up, now for the much harder part of staying given up. Confidence is high though.

Anyway, as always thanks for reading and I hope 2013 brings you all your hearts desire 😉

The next chapter in the rest of my life

So, here we are in 2012 then. I have not written much of a blog for a while as there has been so much going on in my personal life, the particulars of which would not be fair of me to repeat on here for various reasons.

The last three or four months have brought many changes and I found myself beginning a very new chapter in my life; new home, new relationship and new responsibilities, both personally and professionally.

Now the dust has settled and the chaos seems to have subsided, I have started to reacquaint myself with myself. As many who know me will testify, my life has always been very much music orientated be it playing, DJing, promoting, watching or listening and up until the latter half of 2011, I seemed to have had forgotten that to an extent. Sure, to the outside observer I was doing those things but somehow I felt unfulfilled and had somehow lost a large part of myself. Moving into a situation where I am living alone, whilst a struggle at first has really helped me to find that again and having someone special in my life with whom I can properly share this, I can honestly say, has made me feel happier and more alive than I have ever been.

I have thrown myself into my music to a greater extent, continuing with Suicide By Cop almost into our fourth year, reforming Wild Trash for a short period and a gig or two, forming a brand new gothic rock band called The Wraith which is set to commence next week and planning a studio based project in the background called The Last Cut with my old mate and bass player / electro-programmer extraordinaire Ian Bell.

I am slowly creeping back into booking gigs again for my local and regular watering hole, The Black Swan and also for The Commercial Inn on James Street. I have got a 7-band event coming up on the 28th of this month at Bradford Rio’s (Right Up The Bracket II) and plan to keep my hand in up at The Polish Club as well. In addition to this, I have started doing some semi regular DJing nights at The Black Swan and have done bits at The Polish Club and The Commercial.

I have been revisiting my old vinyl collection too, which was criminally underplayed for many years. I have been playing my acoustic guitar which was sat gathering dust and I intend to bring my synth home and start tinkering with that again. I am just generally reigniting that spark which had somehow faded over the course of more years than I feel comfortable admitting to myself even.

AND I AM LOVING IT!!!

Despite all my best intentions, the Open University module which I enrolled on fell by the wayside amongst the chaos of this transitional period but thinking about it pragmatically, I don’t need the qualification and I have all of the course material which I can pick up at a later date and work through in my own time. Trying to cope with everything whilst sticking to the study schedule was causing me undue stress and so I came to the (expensive) decision to withdraw from the course.

Family and friends have played a massive part in this transition and have helped me so much it moves me to tears at times. I consider myself very fortunate that I have such a bunch of loyal and loving people in my life and they really have stuck by me through thick and thin. My employers and workmates have also been incredibly understanding, offering whatever support they could.

Of course this period has not been without its casualties and my finances have taken a severe hammering, especially with Christmas happening. Fortunately, it has not been to an extent where I can’t recover from it, provided I start to exercise a bit of discipline. OK so discipline is not one of my strong points but I can but try.

Anyroad, a belated happy new year to you all and may you all find the happiness you deserve!

Stanfest

I have heard the word Stanfest mentioned a number of times this year and I just thought I would take this opportunity to set the record straight from my perspective. As always, I welcome any comments.

Stanfest was originally an event which I planned with our old friend William ‘Stan’ Simpson in his final days in May, 2009. It was a very emotional day as we had planned this to be his last day out with his mates watching the bands he loved. It was held at The Mannville Arms, which although a place Stan did not frequent a huge number of times in his latter years (mainly due to ill health), was a piece of Bradford alternative history and had seen generations of his friends through its doors over the years. Sadly, Stan passed away on the very day of the event, which is what made it all the more poignant. The bands which played were chosen by him and some of them had actually reformed after years of not being together. The day was epic and we managed to raise a good amount of money for Manorlands, a hospice which Stan spent some time in in his final days and a place which was close to my heart because my grandfather passed away there in recent times. In short, this was not just another all-dayer.

Some months after the event, many people started talking about Stanfest II to take place one year on. I was, at first reluctant to put another one on as I did not want it to detract from the original day. I thought long and hard about it and eventually managed to come up with a second bill which I considered appropriate. Again bands who were friends of Stan and ones which he enjoyed watching. After some to-ing and fro-ing, this ended up taking place at The Mannville Arms again. It was a great day again, it still felt right albeit slightly diluted from the first one and I knew after that one that it would be almost impossible to repeat it again in the manner which was fitting.

Whilst it is important for us not to forget Stan – he was a very dear friend to me and a lot of people, I would not want to somehow cheapen his memory. I am not adverse to organising another Manorlands fundraising event, I think this is very important and I will be doing that at some point. It simply just doesn’t feel right to me. The Mannville is long gone too and for me that was also a big part of it. Stanfest I & II were both very personal journeys for me and ones which I will always hold dear to my heart.

I realise that everybody has a different viewpoint and whilst it does not feel right to me to do a Stanfest III, if anyone feels differently and wishes to host one themselves, then it would be unfair of me to be territorial about the memory of a man who was a much loved part of our community. All I will say is please do not use it as a vehicle for creating business. It was never about that.

William Stan Simpson 1935-2009

Rest in peace old friend.

See change, sea change

As 2010 draws to a close, it seems to be the beginning of a number of changes for me – some good, some not so good.

As a few of my friends will know, I unfortunately lost my grandmother a few weeks ago as she finally lost her long and brave battle against cancer. We all loved Nanna dearly so this was a very sad occasion for us. It was nice at the funeral to meet up with family whom I seldom see but very sad to see her go. We had some nice visits in those final weeks, the memories of which I will cherish.

In the last week or so, I finally parted company with the Zuu bar. After over 2 years of events booking for the Zuu and before that the Mannville Arms, it was finally time for me to move on. It has had its ups and downs and some phases have been easier than others. After a recent communications breakdown at the venue, I initially decided to quit “for the foreseeable future” (i.e. a cooling off period and to get my breath back). However, I had not really been happy for some time and after more bad lines of communication, I have finally decided to move on completely. I won’t comment on the reasons any more than that. However, I would like to wish all of the staff at the Empress and the Zuu bar the very best. There is a fantastic team of dedicated people at those venues (and in the background) and they really do go the extra mile to keep things going from time to time. The last event I have booked there is this coming Saturday (11th) with Keyside Strike + The Bullet Kings + The Zombie Head Hunters. It is a great line-up with a great set of people. Sadly I will not be in attendance but it will be a fantastic night’s entertainment so please do call in if you are in the area. There are other outside promotions coming up in 2011 such as various Fungalpunk nights and Dragonfest so watch out for those.

A few weeks ago, Billy at the Black Swan had decided he would like to tackle bookings for the pub himself. I was involved in a limited capacity but at the time, I was too ensconced in the Zuu bar business to be able to do it justice, so this came as a welcome decision at the time. Billy has some great ideas and a lot of spirit for the Black Swan and the pub has really come into its own.

Events-wise, I am fairly relieved to be stepping down my commitments to be honest. I shall be supporting the Polish club where I can in times to come but I am happy to leave it at that for the time being. I have met some great bands and individuals over the last couple of years of doing this and am kind of looking forward to being a punter for a while. So, with that in mind, the old @ambivalent-productions.co.uk addresses for the Zuu and Black Swan will no longer be in use. I am still friends with people at various venues and am always happy to help out if I can, so please do ask. I cannot really commit to the levels I have in the past but I don’t mind lending a hand.

On the band front, things are changing round a bit after Mick has decided to leave the band. Things are on hold for SBC in the short term but we shall be back soon, initally down to a 4-piece probably. It is still early days yet, so much has to be discussed but we are still here and hope to be gigging again early next year. We are also hoping to play at some different venues too. More on this as it unfolds.

I would like to conclude by extending a warm and sincere thank you to all of my friends and family who have been there with me and for me through all of the above. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and I hope to see many of you out and about real soon. Cheers!

Between a Mac and a hard place

Well, it has been over 3 months since my last blog. I thought I had better post something up since my switch to this shiney new WordPress site. I have never been very skilled in the web design area. My software skills are not very strong at the moment and I don’t think I have much of an eye for design. So WordPress is ideal for me. Besides this site, I created another one for the band which I have to say I am rather pleased with. Check it out http://suicidebycop.co.uk.

A few months ago, I bought myself an iPad and I have to say, it is fantastic. I am unashamedly turning into a bit of an Apple fanboy. I bought a Mac mini last year and I love it. I did get a second hand Mac mini a few years ago but since I was studying for my degree at the time and the software I used for my course was Windows-centric, I never really started using it and my PC at the time was of a better spec anyway. I gave it to my wife and eventually bought myself the new one.

Anyway, since becoming a fan of the Mac, I have noticed a few things. It is curious how strongly people feel about Apple, both lovers and haters. I am very much the former and I am ashamed to say that I have suffered from the proverbial “Mac smugness”, which I should really curtail as it is not a good trait really. However, it amazes me how vehement some people can be about the Mac (and Apple in general) too. I have read some very scathing comments, often from people who have never really used them. I mean I can be just as much of a geek as the next guy but I guess we all need to get a grip sometimes.

I have experience of using a few different platforms and form factors. I have too many computers to justify having really. I have a desktop PC which currently has Mandriva Linux installed, but has had Windows XP and Vista on various occasions. I have a media centre PC, which gets used purely for that purpose. This runs Windows 7. I have a laptop which I really only use for DJing which has Windows XP. I have an Asus EEE-900 netbook which has a flavour of Linux on it (the stock OS was Xandros but I have been meddling with EEE-Buntu) and I have an Apple Mac mini and an iPad. I am going to get shut of the PC and the netbook when I have spent a bit of time flattening them and doing a fresh install.

So, these are my opinions on the whole Windows vs Mac vs Linux debate.

Windows XP – I use this at work all the time and it is infuriatingly slow at times (possibly due to corporate policies and network traffic). At home, I grew weary of the constant housekeeping required. Updating anti virus, clearing temporary files etc, using Crap Cleaner, installing security updates every 5 minutes etc. etc.

Windows Vista – Prettier looking but very resource hungry. It was very buggy, not sure if it has improved yet. Media Center is pretty good but again was very buggy when I used it. I have heard that since I stopped using it, they ironed out a few of the problems and it runs OK now.

Windows 7 – Prettier still, much faster and slick to use. Much better than Vista and the media center bit really is a step up.

Linux – Can be pretty good. Can be nice looking after some configuring and fast too but when it goes wrong, it can be very difficult to put right. Things like external hardware drivers and using a network were problems for me. You need to have a lot of patience with Linux, although I did enjoy my time using it. I had it set up so it was more like Mac OS than Windows but it never quite worked right and I lost patience with it.

Mac OS-X Snow Leopard – Very slick, intuitive, nice looking and overall a pleasure to use. Safari is the best browser I have used. Mail is easy to set up and works beautifully. I use Neo-Office for word processing, spreadsheet etc. iTunes is fantastic on a Mac, although does need a bit of configuring to not do things you don’t want it to. The iLife software which comes bundled is great too.

Don’t get me wrong, I admit I am not really what you would call a power user. I don’t write software or play games. I just do what most people do on a computer – internet, e-mail, office stuff, pictures and for that, I found that the Mac is the best user experience.

As far as Windows is concerned, it is better for gaming, the Media Center Interface is very good with no native Mac equivalent, particularly for DVR functionality and it is much cheaper to knock up a PC than buy a Mac. Although, I would argue that you get what you pay for. Yes, Macs are pretty expensive but both the hardware and the software is top quality.

So, the iPad then? I was intrigued by the iPad right from when I first read about them and as soon as I saw it, I immediately knew that it was the device for me. I had previously used my netbook for armchair and bedroom surfing but the form factor didn’t make me want to do it for long. The tablet is such a nice device to use for idle surfing, reading books, social networking, email and calendar applications. A common comment from people is “well, it is just like an oversized iPod touch isn’t it?”. Well, yes it is but that is a positive. Many people don’t see the point of it but it is all about the form factor for me. It has encouraged me to read more which can only be a good thing. I hardly put mine down when I am at home – except for when I am using my Mac that is! It is also good for reading on the way to work on the train.

Again with the iPad though, I have read some really quite nasty comments from people spitting bile about it (again, often from people who have never even seen one, never mind used one). I mean, it is only a gadget. If you don’t want one then don’t buy one but why criticise the pleasure of those of us who have got one? It has even encouraged me to complete the set and upgrade to the iPhone 4 in January and I am already longingly looking at the Macbook Pro.

But hey, these are just my opinions. I know folks who have very different ones. Horses for courses and all that.

The Exchange, the end of an era through my eyes

Thew news has reached me this week that another old pub has closed its doors. The Exchange Ale House on Market street apparently saw its final night last night, bringing to a close the current 10 year lease.
I first started going in the pub back in 1991 as a naive 16 year old. The landlord was a moustached guy called Kevin I recall. It was an ideal meeting place for everybody with its central location and close proximity to bus stops and it was always my starting point on a night out. The style of the pub was always pretty mainstream with a slight rock feel but it was never what you would call a rock pub (I guess a lot of town centre pubs were like that in those days). Through the early 90’s until 1996, I preferred pubs such as The Mannville, The Smithy and Tumblers and when the two former closed, I briefly used the Exchange as a more regular pub until the Empress turned into a rock pub in 1997.
At the time it was managed by Claire Beastie and it had a fairly large bunch of loyal and close staff and regulars. In fact, they used to refer to themselves as the “family”. From that group, I met some very good friends of mine, one of whom in fact turned out to be my future wife.
A lot of the crowd of the time used to flit between the Empress and the Exchange but each had its own definite followers. Whereas the Empress was more of a definite rock and metal pub, the Exchange retained its mainstream and widespread appeal. It was always a beautiful pub inside with its dark wood, brickwork, stone floor and polished brass and it was generally very well maintained. I think this period is what I would call “my” Exchange. I am sure everyone has their own.
This era lasted for another 3 years or so until the brewery decided to sell the lease for the pub. It was never to be quite the same again. Initially, the new leaseholders turned the place into something a bit more upmarket, fitting carpets and changing the music and style of the place quite significantly. The Exchange regulars decamped to the Empress briefly and then the newly reopened Market Tavern, which was a kind of mini Rio’s in pub format.
After a while, a few of the old regulars slowly filtered back in and eventually I think the leaseholders conceded that the place should return to more of what it used to be, employing new management who were more familiar with the M.O. At first, it wasn’t far off. A lot of the same old customers returned and the place immediately burst into life again.
After a small succession of managers, Steve Malley took the helm and the place evolved into even more of a rock/metal place than ever before – what a lot of people remember it to be. This was quite a buzzing time for Bradford with 3 town centre rock pubs, each within walking distance from each other and Rio’s up the hill. Somewhere along the line, most of those places disappeared but the Exchange stuck in there and for a brief period of maybe a month or so was pretty much the only rock pub in the city, with the exception of the Gasworks which was more of a bar/club than a public house.
Since 2006/7, changes in (mis)management, questionable decor and an embarrasing name change to “The Xchange”, saw the popularity of the pub fall dramatically over the next couple of years or so and despite Danny recently becoming manager, which resulted in a slight peak in trade, it was obvious that the old character and appeal of the pub were long gone.
My recent visits to the Exchange have been few and far between. Not because I necessarily haven’t wanted to. I am very much a creature of habit and when I get settled into a pattern of regular places which I visit, I seldom veer elsewhere. I have often asked about the place to people who I bump into, including Danny who’s recent efforts I think were admirable given what he had left of the place to work with.
I admit I have been fairly outspoken about my opinions on aspects of the Exchange in recent years. I guess I found it ever so sad to see its slow demise from what I remember to be a great watering hole. I have already read and heard mocking comments about it closing, which I don’t think is very fair really. It is easy to laugh and point but remember over the years, it has meant a lot of things to a lot of people and many people did actually put a lot of hard work into the place. Whatever your opinions of The Exchange from whatever era so far, this cannot be denied.
I just hope that the place continues to be a pub. I don’t think it needs to try and be anything but The Exchange Ale House. With a bit of TLC it could be a fantastic place. A real ale spot, a Bierkeller perhaps (an idea I know a few people are keen on). I personally think that for far too long, the place has tried to be something that it is not. I look fondly back to my memories of the Exchange of the 1990’s and whilst I don’t think it will ever be quite the same ever again, I hope that whoever takes it on next will have the care and attention to make it into something just as good.

Social networking and its drawbacks

OK, so it seems like most people use Facebook these days. Some of us use similar, yet different services such as MySpace and Twitter. I use all 3 to varying extents and recently, I have become bogged down by the realisation of just how much Facebook in particular has become interwoven into my life.
Facebook is very useful for promotion and networking and like MySpace, I have managed to conduct a lot of bookings via this avenue. I recently created a seperate profile entirely for this and I find that psychologically this has helped, as it kind of separates and depersonalises things a bit (don’t feel as bad about adding “friends” whom I don’t know at all for instance). I also created it so that other members of the Zuu team could also use it for promotion and communication (hint hint Mick -lol!).
On a personal level, Facebook has been a bit of a love/hate relationship for me in recent months, getting too heated up by some comments or impassioned for or against a viewpoint, it is really not a good thing in many ways. It does have its uses in so far as I can see what a lot of my buddies are up to at any given time and I recognise how beneficial it is for some, in particular those who live or are at home by themselves. One never really feels alone when there is access to Facebook and it contains no shortage of distractions.
However, I no longer feel comfortable with it being one of the first things I do in a morning and one of the last things I do before going to sleep 75% of the time. Having it on my smartphone only exacerbates that.
I have also found that a lot of real-world social conversation revolves around things that have been posted or said on Facebook. I am sure many opinions are formed about people by people who have never met them face to face and there are also sometimes virtual lynch mobs against people or for causes. Why do we choose to let ourselves get so bogged down by a single web service?
I quote a friend of mine from a couple of weeks ago “I would ask you what you have been up to but I already know. It has killed the art of conversation”. Incidently I had not seen said friend for months and I think we both left feeling somehow that we had been cheated of a more pleasurable experience out of our albeit brief chat.
So, I have decided to take a break from it for a short while, certainly from my personal account. I have done little things such as delete the app from my phone and stop the email notifications as well as other things to distance or distract myself a bit. Ironically, the first thing I have done is blog about it yes and I also see the irony that there is a possibility a link may be automatically be posted as a FB status update via Twitter / Twitterfeed (although it shouldn’t now I have changed my settings).
Anyway, whether or not I change my Facebook habits or how long I manage to stay off of it remains to be seen but I guess it is the old adage that the first step to solving a problem is to recognise that a problem exists.